Long time since my last entry. A lot has happened.

In July of last year my world was turned upside down, I lost the love of my life ( my husband ) unexpectedly to a massive heart attack. The worst part of it was, he wasn't at home. He was a truck driver and was sitting in a truck stop parking lot all alone. I often wonder if he would of been home could I have gotten him help in time to save him.

Life changed drastically, being disabled, I've had to learn to live on a meagerly income, I don't even care about that to be honest, I just miss him. 

Then we all know covid hit and the changes it brought with it. Being high risk my life changed even more. I tried taking a part time job to help support myself, That was short lived when I fell and broke my shoulder and wrist. That was 2 months ago, I still have no use of that arm and am doing physical therapy twice a week. I go for more x-rays again on the 21st to see how it is progressing and determine if surgery is needed.

During all of this I've had great support from my friends, family and my church family. They have stood by my side, prayed with and for me. And the emotional support has been life saving. It's times like these you appreciate the people God placed in your life.

This is all horrible stuff, but it is my testing. I have hope in Him. I will come through all of this by the grace of God, I rely heavily on Him, especially all alone in the wee hours of the night when sleep evades me, He is my constant companion, my rock, my hiding place.

Whats Happening to the Church?

So many churches in our area are not offering the services they used to. Some of them are only doing Sunday morning worship. They no longer offer Sunday School, or Sunday evening worship or even Wednesday night. I remember as a child we had so many activities going on at the church that we kids always had something to do. We had a group called sunbeams for the little girls that was always doing something that kept us busy especially during the summer. The older girls had stuff going on for them too. Stuff that molded them into responsible adult Christians.
And what on earth happened to Revival week?
I live in the so called Bible Belt in South Alabama so this is sad to me, if it is happening here, how bad is it getting every where else?
Prayer isn't allowed in schools, Bibles aren't allowed in schools and now even our churches are declining to the point they are barely existing on 1 service per week. No extra activities!
Now granted I know you don't have to GO to church to serve God or to worship Him, but going to church is what helps me stay FOCUSED on God. I NEED it to stay grounded in Him.
And we have the audacity to ask what is happening to our nation, our world? We are taking God out of all of it! Wake up people, we need God, we need our churches to keep us focused on God.
Ok rant over since the phone rang and I lost track of where I was headed with this rant.

A Facebook Status I found...

This is a Facebook status I found while looking through my downloaded copy of my facebook account, just thought I'd share it here.

Thursday, April 11, 2013 at 10:30pm CDT

Trebor Jule Cox updated her status.

I've had an epiphany I guess you could say. Those who know me well know I've struggled with religion and spirituality as long as I can remember. I've searched and moved from 1 thing to another, trying to find my place. I've moved away from my Christian roots and my heart over the last decade or so because I felt I was never "good" enough and never could be. Then I realized its not about being "good enough". Its about the journey, trying to get there, whats in your heart. Jesus has always been in my heart and YES I'm guilty of denying that. Because I thought I was being denied the promises because I couldn't BE "good enough" for those promises. Not anymore, I know my place. Jesus came for the sinners so what does being good enough have to do with it? I was being blinded by my own stupidity. If this isn't your cup of tea for a topic, well you know where that lil x is at the corner of this msg :) I'll never be a "perfect" Christian, but I don't know any either, and if they existed what did Jesus give his life for?

I got nothing

Yup you heard me I got nothing to talk about. I could sit here and ramble about nothing but I'm sure none of you care.

I'll save you the boredom.

Doc Appointment

My doc appointment was uneventful, I weighed about the same as my last visit, everything was fine. I had blood work done again. And paperwork filled out for my cpap company for prescription renewal and the last several months of my visits faxed over to the surgeon. I have that class in April I haven't gotten the date on it yet, then everything will be sent off for approval. Man what a long and tedious process!

In other news, going no-poo has turned my hair into a curl factory! I've lost a few inches in length because it is all curling up. I must admit I kinda missed the curls. I hated them when I was younger, but they've been gone for so long I was kinda missing them. I do notice tho when I don't use the baking soda rinse in the shower, it takes a lot longer for my hair to dry, like hours! But it doesn't feel gross, just different. I'm still in over production of oils, but that should tame down soon. The amount of hair I was loosing each day has slowed down a lot! My hair doesn't stink like I thought it would. Now mind you hubby hates the smell of it after doing a baking soda rinse, he says it smells like straight baking soda, maybe I'm using to much. I'll adjust it hopefully eventually I won't even need the baking soda rinse.

That's all folx

My Day

Woke up late this morning, had my coffee and washed my laundry while I read my morning news-feed on Facecrack.

Hubby had an afternoon doc appointment because he hasn't been feeling well lately and has had no energy. I went with him to help him remember what all he needed to discuss with the doctor. Mainly to make sure that he told him about his horrible moods. I think they have a lot to do with him not sleeping well. Takes him till 4 or 5 am to fall asleep after getting home at 1 am. Then he sleeps so lightly that a mouse fart in the next room will wake him up. Then he is pissy all day and to be honest I just wanna ring his skinny little neck!

Anyway the doctor put him back on his mood pills and another mood pill at night that is supposed to also help him sleep. Lord I hope this works! I loved him immensely on mood pills a few years ago, I didn't stop loving him, I just don't like him very much right now. How can you like an asshole???

And THEN.... I picked up my grand daughter, then went and picked her mother up (daughter number 3) and took them to the grocery store. I took daughter #3 home, then took my grand daughter home. Came all the way back home and picked up daughter #4 and both my grandsons and took them to the grocery store and picked up hubby's prescriptions while I was there. Whheeew! By this time I am exhausted and STARVING! Luckily daughter #4 cooked dinner for all of us, I love her so much! It was stuffed shells YUM! Maybe I will share her recipe in another post on another day I'm to damn tired to type it up today!

The best part of the day? It's my Hailea's birthday, that would be granddaughter #1, and Wyatt grandson #3 cut his first tooth today! Bout time he is almost 10 months old.

Anyway time to relax and maybe watch last nights episode of "The Walking Dead"

Later Creepers!

Yup this is me

No its not a full body shot, but you can definitely see how big I am in this pic. In a years time I'm hoping to be half this size. I have my last weigh in check up this week on the 25th. I won't be doing the Begin class this month, I'll have to wait until next months class. That is the last thing the surgeon's office needs to send the request to the insurance company.

If anyone out there is reading that has done this, I'd love to hear your story. Diet you follow, your experience, how you felt after surgery, just anything! If you've blogged or made a YouTube channel following your progress please leave a link in the comments, I would love to check it out.

I've had no luck finding an affordable personal trainer, so I'm going to check out planet fitness next week and see if I feel it will be a comfortable fit for me. I know this is going to take work, that it isn't a miracle cure, it is a tool. A lot of changes will be required for this to work. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Surgery is a drastic measure and I've had a friend die from this surgery. Granted that was years ago and so many advances have been made since then. But still it isn't without a lot of risk. My main fear tho is failure, not death... just plain and simple failure. If I fail I let everyone down from family, friends but most of all myself. As it gets closer I worry even more. I've failed at this so many times already without surgery. I would much rather not have to go threw surgery. But this can't be the end of my story, I cannot die this large and have that be how I'm remembered. I'd rather die trying than to live like this anymore, then at least I gave it all I had.

Anyway if you have a story to share please do, or a recipe site for after surgery share that too!

Till next time ya weirdo's!