No sleep tonight.

Told ya I wouldn't be able to sleep. And I have ran the gambit of crazy thoughts. The last line of thinking I had while laying in my bed right before I gave up the idea of sleep, was what it would be like to erect a yurt on my property and live in it. Now if you don't know what a yurt is, look them up their pretty cool, they are circular tent like structures but a lot more insulated than a regular tent, they aren't permanent so if you decide to relocate it you can. I find them fascinating, problem with one would be a toilet LOL. I'm sure there would be other problems but the toilet situation is what comes to mind for me.

Now how I got to thinking about that, I don't know. Thats how my mind works at night. Totally irritating when you are doing everything you can to just fall asleep! Now here it is almost 5 am and I'm blogging?! I'll get sleepy around 8 am when its about time to get up and start getting my Friday errands done, UGH! Now I'm tempted just to go ahead and make coffee. Sounds sooo good right about now.

I might just do that.....

Weigh in at home.

Good evening.

I weighed myself this morning on my scales at home, which read 340.6, well that's 12 lbs less than the reading at the doctor's office yesterday.  But at least now I have a starting point for future weigh ins at home.

No word from the coordinator as of yet, she said I should hear from her by Friday, so if I don't hear anything by Monday I will call the doctor's office and check on her progress.

Had a rough time sleeping the last few days, so last night I took a mild sleeping pill, slept till 11 this morning, then took a nap around 5 till 8:30, now I'll probably be up all night again. I will be tired, but I can't get my brain to shut down. My thoughts will go from what subject to another until I am backtracking my thoughts to figure out how I got where I  was in my thinking! It's not just this surgery stuff going on though, I have other things going on that have me stressed as well. My new goal is a saying I heard in a sermon this morning, I've heard it before but it never meant much to me until now. It is to "Let go and let God." That's my new mantra.

Ok till tomorrow, hopefully I'll have an update from the coordinator.

Bypass Surgery?

Ok where to start. I finally after considering it for a couple of years now went and saw a bariatric surgeon to see about gastric bypass surgery. I've been considering it for a couple of years I've made the appointment a couple of times and always chickened out. Well, I finally went yesterday and everything sounded pretty good. He suggested that I go with the gastric bypass instead of the sleeve or the band, so I guess we're going with the gastric bypass. Now I just have to jump through the hoops for my insurance company and do everything that they want so that it will be covered so the journey begins.

I have a list of things that they gave me in a packet that tells me some of those stuff that I have to do. I hsve to go and see a psychologist, I have to make appointments for 6 months in a row with my primary doctor, and take a couple of nutrition classes and pre op classes and anything else that the insurance decides that I need to do before they will cover this procedure. Anyways a coordinator will call me by the end of the week to let me know what the insurance said and where I need to get started next.

So this blog is where I'm going to post updates, and everything that's going on as far as the surgery goes. What the insurance company is requesting, about the classes, about the doctors visits, and anything else so that you get a rundown of what's going on as far as getting this done and then after its done I will post my progress for those interested or anyone else that is going through this. But for the most part this blog is for me.  To post what I'm going through, thoughts, feelings, emotions and anything else I decide to share. It will be a tool for me to vent and keep up with what I feel will be one hell of a roller coaster ride emotionally.

I'm excited but scared.  The results the doctor thinks we will get excite me, this will change my entire life,  but I'm also being realistic and know this journey isn't going to be easy by a long shot.  I've researched,  read,  and watched enough videos of other people's experiences to know I have a long hard road ahead.

Now for the nitty gritty,  I'm starting this journey at 352 lbs on the doctors scales yesterday,  I will weigh myself on my scale first thing in the morning to get that reading.  I am 5'4" tall according to the doc yesterday and I am 48 years old. I have sleep apnea, diabetes, high blood pressure and afib and usually have edema in my legs and feet. I also suffer from COPD. I am on medications for most of these things,  this surgery should eliminate most if not all of these health problems. That in itself is exciting!

The scary parts are yet to come!  The diet of liquid I heard about before and right after surgery, exposing myself to the emotions I'm sure will surface and the endless appointments to satisfy doctors and insurance. And pain, but it cant be as bad as the pains I face in life now due to insensitive people, the aches of carrying around this much weight and all the limitations it has put on me physically and emotionally.

So to say I'm scared is an understatement! I am terrified,  but I'm ready to face whatever comes to change my life. So here we go, pray for me, wish me luck,  and follow me on this journey.

Till next time.....